There's nothing sexy about being unhealthy

So, going a little different direction today. Over the weekend comedian Ralphie May died. Ralphie May joked about his weight and struggled with it for some time, from what I have learned from reading a little about him. Why the sudden interest in an overweight celebrity? Well, when I saw the headline that he died from cardiac arrest and complications from pneumonia I knew that could have easily happened to me one day.

Now, even at my biggest have I ever been as big as Ralphie May or others who have followed in his footsteps. And, please don't mistake, I am sorry that his life was lost. But, we live in a country that glorifies obesity and chubby as sexy and ok. Let me say this slowly, this is not sexy. It's not glamorous, and it shouldn't be how we are CHOOSING to live our lives. I know that not all of us make poor diet choices, not all of us choose to watch Netflix rather than work out, but a lot of us do.

There is nothing wrong with being body confident. I've always felt confident about how I looked. I never felt like I have needed anyone's approval regarding my appearance. And those back hand compliments like, "you dress well for a big girl" always irritated me. Deep down though I knew that I was facing potentially life threatening issues because of my lifestyle choices. My lifestyle choices led to my weight gain. Not an illness, not an injury. My own ignorance and laziness have gotten me to where I am today. And, it's because of figures like Ralphie May, The Fluffy comedian (what's his name??), and site like Chubby Girls are Sexy too, that glorify this lifestyle.

I thought that if they could make it and be ok with being fat then what was so wrong with me feeling the same way. Well, honestly nothing. If that is where you are in your life. I was there for a long time. My motivation still stands as this is a decision to get healthy, not skinny. I am not trying to put down anyone who may not feel this way and I hope I am not coming off that way. My eyes were opened two weeks ago when I started this journey. And, now that are wide open after reading of the passing of Ralphie May.

I want to be around for my kids. I want to run around and play at the park with them. I want to be the example for them. I want to be happy and healthy.