Why is weight loss so hard? I guess I don't mean the actual weight loss part, it's the committing to something that is not my habit. I haven't worked out in months. My meal planning is, well some weeks are great and others I just fly by the seat of my pants. I hate those weeks. I binge eat. I eat everything that I shouldn't and then I feel like complete and total crap after it all. But honestly, sometimes that doesn't even stop me. I just keep going.
I am back at my heaviest weight. Actually, I'm two pounds about my heaviest weight, so I guess you could say I'm at my new heaviest. I'm disgusted. But more than that I am tired of feeling so crappy all the time. I'm tired all day long. I could sleep all night and still be tired. It hurts to get up a lot. It takes forever to do things. I get out of breath walking up the stairs. I cannot do this anymore.
Writing about this before helped me. Getting my feelings out about a particular situation, being able to look back on something positive I did that day. It was encouraging. I started this blog 6 years ago for accountability and it worked. But then I stopped. When I went for a walk tonight I decided I was going to start writing again. Even if no one else sees these words, they are here for me. So, here I go again. Wish me luck!
